WASHINGTON-Shocked by the reckless act of child endangerment, a crowd
outside the White House stared in horror as an unhinged Donald Trump on
Wednesday reportedly dangled a baby from the Truman Balcony. According to
witnesses, the president emerged from the double swing doors holding a 9-month-old
infant, causing the already excited crowd to cheer even louder-enthusiasm that
turned to gasps, however, when Trump proceeded to lift the squirming, kicking
child over the metal railing and dangle it over the two-story terrace, using just
one arm to secure it. Barely able to continue holding onto the baby, witnesses said
the commander in chief yanked it back over, then returned inside and closed the door.
At press time, a devastated Trump had apologized, saying he was only trying to connect
with his constituents, and had reportedly locked himself away as a recluse at Mar-a-Lago.