WASHINGTON-Responding to a damning Washington Post report alleging he had shared
highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed
the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large
Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being. "I am a big idiot,"
said the president, adding that the reason he always messes everything up is that he is a
dumb moron who doesn't know better. "I do a lot of things that don't make sense and are
bad, and that's because I don't understand much. If I was smart, I would do stuff better,
but I'm not. I'm really, really stupid." The commander in chief added that it was probably
best if somebody stopped him from doing dumb things all the time because he was too stupid to
know how.