Be a lady, they said. Your skirt is too short. Your skirt is too low. Don't show so much skin, cover
up. Leave something to their imagination. Don't be a temptress. Men can't control themselves, men
have needs. Look sexy, look hot. Don't be so provocative, you are asking for it. Wear black, wear
heels. You are too dressed up, you are too dressed down. You look like you've let yourself go. Be
a lady, they said. Don't be too fat, don't be too thin. Eat up, slim down. Stop eating so much.
Order a salad. Don't need carbs. Skip dessert. Go on a diet. God, you look like a skeleton, why
don't you just eat?! You look like emaciated, you look sick. Men like women with meat on their
bones. Be a size zero, be a double zero, be nothing, be less than nothing. Be a lady. they said.
Remove your body hair. Bleach this, bleach that. Reradiate your scars, cover your stretch marks.
Plump your lips, botox your wrinkles, lift your face, tuck your tummy, perk up your boobs. Look
natural! You are trying too hard, you look over done. Men don't like girls who try too hard. Be a
lady, they said. Wear makeup, highlight your cheekbones. Line your lids, filling your brows,
linking your lash, colour your lips. Powder, blush, bronze, highlight. Your hair is too short,
dye your hair. Not blue, that looks unnatural! Look young, old is ugly, men don't like ugly. Be a
lady, they said. Save yourself, be pure. Don't be a whore, don't sleep around. Men don't like sluts.
Don't be a prude, don't be so up-tight. Smile more, pleasure men. Be experienced, be sexual, be
innocent, be dirty. Be the cool girl. Don't be like the other girls. Be a lady, they said. Don't
talk too loud, don't talk too much. Don't be intimidating, why are you so miserable? Don't be a
bitch, don't be so bossy. Don't be so emotional, don't cry. Don't yell, don't swear. Endure the
pain, don't complain. fold his clothes, cook his dinner, keep him happy, that's woman's job. You
are making a good wife someday. Take his last name, you hyphenated your name? Crazy feminist. Given
him children, you don't want children?! You will someday. You will change your mind. Be a lady, they
said. Don't get raped. Don't drink too much. Don't walk alone, don't go out too late. Don't dress
like that. Don't get drunk. Don't smile at strangers. Don't go out at night. Don't trust anyone.
Don't say "YES", don't say "NO". Just be a lady, they said.