So I figured Washington DC. I have an entry on unpaid internships. And I feel like there's a
battle between Washington DC and New York for the most unpaid internships in the United States
combined with the highest rent. It's a fantastic situation.
In most of the world, when a person works long hours without pay, it's referred to as slavery or
forced labor, For white people this process is referred to as an internship and it's considered an
essential stage of white development.The concept of working for little or no money underneath a
superior has been around for centuries in the form of apprenticeship programs. Young people,eager
to learn a trade, spend time working under a master craftsman to learn to skill that would
eventually lead to an increase in material wealth. Using this logic, you'd assume that the most
sought-after internships would be in areas that leads to the greatest financial reward.
Young white people, however, prefer internships that put them on the path to careers that will
generally result in a decrease of the material wealth accumulated by their parents. For example,
if you represent a white 19-year-old with a choice of spending the Summer earning $15 an hour as a
plumber's apprentice or making zero dollars choose the latter. In fact, the only way to get the
white person to choose the pluming option would be to convince him it was leading towards some
sort of end of Summer pipe-art installation.
White people view the internships as their foot into the door of such high-profile, low-paying
career fields as journalism, film, politics, art, non-profits and anything associated with museums.
Any white person who takes an internship outside of these industries is either the wrong type of
white person or a law student. There are no exceptions. If all goes according to plan, and
internship will end with an offer of a job that pays $24,000 a year and will consist entirely
of the same tasks they were recently doing for free. In fact, the transition to full-time status
results in the addition of only one new responsibility; feeling superior to the new interns.
When all is said and done, the internship process serves the white community in many way. First
it helps train the next generation of freelance writers, museums curators and directors' assistants.
But, more importantly, internships teach white children how to complain about being poor. So when a
white person tells you about their unpaid internships at The New Yorker, it's not a good idea to
point out how the cost of rent and food will essentially mean they're paying their employer for
the right to make photocopies. Instead it's best to say, "You earned it." They will not get the
joke.