WASHINGTON-Feeling devastated by the thought that he could no
longer provide assistance to millions of disadvantaged Americans,
a tearful President Trump reportedly put down his ladle Tuesday
and walked out of a soup kitchen after learning that the
Donald J. Trump Foundation was shutting down. "There was so much
I could have done to help those in need, but now it's just not
going to happen," said a visibly distressed Trump who, upon being
informed of the philanthropic organization's closure, solemnly dumped
a kettle filled with hot stew into the garbage several minutes before
the start of the meal service. "I think of all the sick, the poor,
and the disabled who will suffer because of the federal laws my charitable
organization violated and, Jesus, it just breaks my heart. Those beautiful,
wonderful souls-God, I can't bear it." At press time, Trump took one last
heartbreaking look at the line of homeless men, women, and children as he
exited the building before collapsing to his knees and crying.